Words of wisdom from PiP Strategic Advisor, Kevin Dincher.
A long-time friend had a birthday recently. In the two decades I have known her, she has never once said thank you for any gift—not a birthday present, a Christmas gift, get-well flowers, or congratulatory chocolates—without being asked, “Did you get…?” When asked, she is effusive in her thanks, but having to ask if the gift arrived tarnishes the sparkle a bit. It is now three weeks since our birthday gift arrived (thank you, UPS tracking), and we still haven’t heard from her. That has me thinking about the power of saying thank you.
People Become More Generous When We Thank Them
Let me start by stating the obvious: being thanked makes us feel good about ourselves. When we are thanked for our work, we feel good about that work and about the company where we work. When we are thanked for donations and contributions, we feel good about what we have given and about the organization that we supported. We feel that what we are doing is worthwhile—and people thrive when their contributions have meaning.
Letting people know that what they have done matters keeps them engaged, excited and motivated—and engaged, excited and motivated people are more generous with their time, talent and treasure. When you cultivate the practice of giving thanks, you encourage people to be more generous. The opposite is also true: when people don’t hear that what they have done matters, they become disengaged and less generous. Why bother doing more if it doesn’t matter?
But How We Thank People Matters
Show some effort.
We probably say “thank you” dozens of times a day. Our parents taught you that “please” and “thank you” are the “magic words.” We thank the checkout clerk at the grocery story. We thank the co-worker who hands us the report that we asked for. We thank donors and volunteers with automated emails. Polite—and perfunctory. These obligatory expressions of gratitude are important, but they cost us little, and their actual impact is minimal. Ask one of your donors what that automated email actually said.
On the other hand, expressions of thanks that show some effort have more of an impact. Think of the difference: Your CEO sends you an email that reads, “Thank you for taking that call from Jim Anderson. I appreciate it.”—or your CEO comes to your office to thank you for taking that call from Jim Anderson. Which makes you feel more appreciated? The thank you that showed more effort, right? The same is true for donors and volunteers.
Make it personal.
I recently made donations to five non-profit organizations as part of this year’s Nevada’s Big Give, a 24-hour event to raise money for Nevada charities. Four of the five agencies, as expected, sent me automated emails to thank me for my donation. The development director of the fifth organization, however, did the unexpected. She personally reviewed the list of several hundred donors. Although we had never met, she recognized my name as the presenter at an event she planned to attend later in the month—and she personalized her thank you email to include a comment about looking forward to my presentation. Impressive. That added effort and personalization made her and her agency stand out from the crowd.
Generic expressions of thanks are the norm; but if you personalize a thank you whenever you can, it has greater impact and more power to engage people.
Be specific.
Whenever you can, skip the generic. Be specific about a person’s contribution and its impact.
In the workplace, it is easy to say, “I hear you’ve been doing some really good work, Jane.” But that can sound a bit patronizing (because it is). Jane will feel more appreciated if you are specific about her contribution—and you tell her the positive impact of her work. Thank her for the extra hours she put in to ensure that report you requested at the last minute was ready when you needed it—because without it you wouldn’t have been able to land that big new donor. Let Jane know how she saved the day!
The same is true of donors, volunteers and other contributors to non-profit organizations. Be specific about what you are thanking them for and about the impact of their contribution. Our CEO at Professionals in Philanthropy, Stacey Wedding, received a great thank you email recently. Stacey had given the CEO of a non-profit organization a suggestion for a small change she could make in the agency’s participation in Nevada’s Big Give. The suggestion proved very successful, and the executive director wrote to thank her. But the ED didn’t just say, “Thanks. It helped a lot.” She told Stacey that her “brain child” had actually resulted in donations increasing 10 times over 2015 levels. Talk about making someone feel that their contribution counted for something!
Say thank you often.
Many companies and agencies have rituals for saying thank you to their workers, donors and volunteers—end-of-the-year celebrations, newsletter articles, blog posts, automated emails—and if you have these kinds of rituals, keep doing them. These public acknowledgments are important and appreciated.
If, however, these are your only ways of saying thanks, then you need to up your game. Be proactive so that you get the good news of what your workers, donors and volunteers are doing in a timely manner. Regularly and frequently, ask your coworkers, managers and directors for feedback on the good work people are doing. When you make it a regular part of your team meetings, you train your team to be on the lookout for the good news.
Once you hear the good news, don’t wait to say thanks. Saying thank you now has a greater impact than waiting a month. The passage of time drains a thank you of its power.
Saying “Thank You” Might Change You
One final thought on the power of saying thank you: expressing thanks well has the power to engage your employees, your donors and your volunteers—but it also has the power to change anyone who gets into the habit of looking for the good news and thanking people for it.
Whether you manage an entire agency, a department or a team, you probably focus a great deal of your energy each day on solving problems. That is after all what managers do: they fix what is not working, fill gaps, confront challenges, and put out fires. Your whole agency or department can seem (somewhat depressingly) like just one big ongoing problem. Cultivating the practice of giving thoughtful thanks broadens your focus. You become more aware of all the talented and generous people around you—and the good work that is actually happening. The practice of thoughtful thanksgiving changes your perspective.
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